The Misunderstood 2's...

As a parent, I kind of like to feel like I have some kind of a routine with my son....like we have an understanding of one another and we can communicate. I like to think that...but sometimes, that's just not the case...

We all know the phrases and the scenarios...Toddler turns from loving, amazing, snuggly self-entertaining joy of life to screaming, throwing, crying monster. Everyone looks at toddlers with knowing glances and says the same terrible phrase..."Oh, He must just be hitting those terrible two's!" (I relate this to when a woman loses her temper and those who don't understand, a.k.a. usually guys, use the phrase, "Oh, she's just PMS-ing...") But really, can EVERY child be "terrible?" Sometimes, yes, but sometimes, I think they are just misunderstood.

Picture with me, for a moment, this scenario. You are in a foreign country. You've been there for a while, so you generally feel happy and comfortable, but you are still getting down the language. For the most part, you can get around, carry on conversations and make do, while building those relationships. But a few times a day you experience "the frustration..." You know, when you are intellectually trying to explain a situation and nobody around you gets it? You know what you're saying, they know what they "think" you are saying, but really nobody understands what you are trying to say...now, wouldn't that be frustrating?

Sometimes I think my son and I go through this circle. He is clearly a very intuitive and smart little guy, but sometimes when trying to express himself, he just plain get's frustrated that Mommy doesn't know what the "boo ogert"( blue yogurt??) one is or where "moo cow" went. He doesn't understand that when we get home late at night sometimes, that he has to put on his jammies, because it's bedtime, when usually we get to play with choo choo, have a snack and watch a little Spidey. He knows that the boogies in his nose bother him, but can't seem to get them out, but he really doesn't like it when Daddy has to get them....So what's a toddler to do? Have a mini-meltdown, of course.

As parents, my husband and I try very hard to teach our son the difference between right and wrong, but it's also important to know that it's not what you say, it's how you say it...and how you understand it. So, maybe the so-called "Terrible 2's" are not in themselves always terrible, but mostly misunderstood. I know there are times when my son can be deliberately disobediant, but more often than not, I think he's trying the boundaries of communication. It takes us as parents, having the maturity to look around the situation, around the tears and angry words of toddler frustration to see what the real problem is. It is our job to bring them to that spot of calm and encourage them to use their words...and when they can't find the right words, help them to discover them.

Sometimes in parenting, we don't just parent them, we parent ourselves...