Monday, November 14, 2011

A Parent's Prayer and a Mother's Heart...

When Gavin was born, I used to stare at him, the shape of his little mouth, the curve and intricacies of his ears, the deep, vibrant brown of his little eyes...and I would be amazed every time at the tremendous responsibility and love God had given our family in this child. Every lesson, every reaction, every perspective was ours to instigate, to give him the best foundation in life. One of the key responsibilities we feel as parents is to instill in our son the importance of a lifelong relationship with Jesus.

Our church is undergoing an epic building project for our home and future location as a congregation. I was walking through it with my husband last night and realized for a moment where we were standing. We looked down, and according to the map, we were standing in the kids area...In the exact spot where our son would learn and grow and play and sing and ultimately, fall in love with Jesus...and I asked my husband to do something weird...

As we stood there in the quasi-darkness, I asked him to take my hands and to pray for us, for our son and for this spot. (Im sure we looked like a couple of teens looking for a "dark corner", but I promise, we were praying! :) In that moment, I was overcome by tears and emotions at how much this spot would mean to Gavin and to our family...and how all the other spots in this place would have meaning to him as well.

We prayed that he would grow to be a man of God, a man who makes his choices with integrity. We prayed that he would have friends who would care about him, ask the tough questions and would offer counsel that was God-centered. We prayed for the youth ministry and the future of his leadership. We prayed for the memories, friendships, relationships, choices, soul-stirring convictions and God whispers that would happen in this building.

Then a fear clutched my heart. What if, after all these prayers, dedications and hope, he doesn't choose follow Jesus?What if he chooses another way...what if? And it only took a moment for God to remind me of some truth.

1. Just as it is unseen where all the funds will come from for our new building, I won't be able to see, know or be there for all of Gavin's choices. I have to rely on God to grow our little man from the foundations planted.

2. Just because it is unseen doesn't mean it is unprepared. Someday, my husband and I will have to stand before our Lord and account for our parenting. I want to be able to look at him and know I did everything I could. Every little thing matters...every time he says his own little prayer and asks "Mama, wha's the next 'fing' I say?" and when he prays and thanks God for his toes and his Kitty and his Cars...Every Bible story we read and discuss, explaining how God can whisper to his heart, just like he whispered to Samuel...Every time we say "Good Morning" to the sun and "Good Night" to the moon and he asks me "Who made 'dem' ?" I want to infuse God and His awesome power and love into every interaction.

Gavin is going to fail and make mistakes...even now, I feel like I say his name 50 times a day.... But, truth is, his daddy and I mess up all the time. I know we're not going to be the perfect example. But I want to give it all I've got, so in the end, our little man will know that the relationship his daddy and I treasure with Jesus and the freedom we have found in Him can be his's there for the taking.