Lessons Learned From the Church Bathroom...

If you've been reading this blog for a long time, you'll know that I'm in, as artists say, my dark period. There are just things going on between me and God that I have been struggling with for a few months recently. Not sure where they came from, but nevertheless, their ugly heads have been raised and so, I write, as God continues to teach me lessons and work in my heart, fighting this raging battle within myself on what seems to be a daily basis...

First things first...for this entry to make sense, I have to tell you...I love my church. No, seriously, out of any church experience, I have ever, ever had in my life...4 Corners Community Church here in West Chester (www.4cornerschurch.com) has been life changing for myself and my husband, as well as our extended families...Now that you know that, I dive back into my entry...

On this particularly blustery, snowy morning, my husband and I were headed to church. We were headed on the freeway at 7-ish a.m. because we had been asked to do a duet with each other as a holiday special for church. It was at this point in our journey where the wiper blades became caked with ice, snow, and all other maladies, making it difficult for Hubs to know where he was going...we're talking visibility at zero here... with a car full of people and frustration mounting, we were able to veer off road at the nearest exit. The windshield wipers then decided to get stuck in their current postition. What was meant to be a "gentle tap?" ended up being an angry hand smacking the wiper switch down as my poor husband had finally lost his temper with the situation. What happens next can only be described as misfortune of sitcom proportions...Not only does the entire windshield wiper switch break off from my husband's short lived temper tantrum, but also the washer fluid decides to spray in a fountain all over the windshield, getting stuck in the on postion.

We pull into church, fluid spraying motor still running, frustrated, but also trying to focus on what we have been asked to do for our congregation and friends. The more I think about it, the more I started to feel like God has just allowed life to dump on us again (expletaves removed, but you get the idea of how upset I was). We keep finding ourselves in this pit, and all the little things adding up. Now on top of other "busted" things in life, we have a busted car, with no clue at this point a) how to fix said problem, and b) how much said problem will cost. Are we looking at under 100? 200? or something much, much greater.

I have to be honest here, at the early point of day, all of this exploded inside of me and I found myself rushing to the ladies room at our church to basically hold back the tears of anger and frustration I was feeling. I kept asking myself, why us? Why does the crap always happen to us and always at the worst times?! We had just dumped a lot of money the other day into putting on our son's 2nd birthday party. Why couldn't this have happened before we had spent that much?

As I got a cold, wet paper towel and tried to save face (literally, my "face" was running down my face), I looked around the church bathroom. I could see tiny cracks in the walls, little fractures, places where paint needed to be repaired. I knew there were other places needing repair within our church itself. But I stopped and thought about all of the wonderful things God had done through this broken building...the things He had brought into my life...the relationships and ( I love to say) amazing friendships he has built into us as a result of being able to meet together in this broken building...the moments of worship that had stirred me to the core, the messages our Pastor had brought that had changed lives...the inspiration to join together to build wells and orphanages and serve the community here nearby...If God can use a broken building for his good in our lives and the lives of so many, surely the things that are "busted" in my eyes and in my life are not without benefit?

I came out of the bathroom with a fresh set of eyes...yes, this ordeal was going to suck...big time. But, I knew my husband probably was already feeling a million times worse than I was, because he knew he could have prevented it. He needed my support and love, not my anger, frustration and nagging...

We got out there and performed. We did our best, all things considered. Maybe our duet wasn't perfect either, as the fractures in our car had left a few fractures in our minds...but my new perspective reminded me that life doesn't always have to be perfect to still be good.

I think Im going to hold onto that broken car piece as a little reminder. What areas of life seem "broken" or "busted" for you? How have they been or can they used by God in awesome ways?