Im about to rock your world...shake your foundations...shock you to the core...I am Not Perfect.
Not a perfect wife...not a perfect mother...not a perfect Christian...
and Im about to tell you why.
If you're a busy wife and mom like me, you know there are the rooms and places in your home that you clean, just in case people stop by...then there are...the Untouchables...the little things in our lives we hope no one ever sees...Sometimes it's the upstairs bedrooms...sometimes its that crockpot you leave soaking in the hopes your husband will take the hint and wash it before you get home...sometimes its the piles of laundry masked behind a door...either way, we all have untouchables. And we seem to not care about them. Until the chance someone could see them...then the frantic dash happens...We rush about to scrub and clean and wipe and fold and put away...we dust off until we can see it again...we hide the clothes so the room looks clean, instead of actually putting them away. We would never want anyone to see them...to know we have Untouchables...
Spiritually, we all suffer from Untouchables. These versions, however, bring much more danger to our souls...its the little secrets you keep, the struggles you face, the things you brush aside and think dont matter, until someone could see them.. What if someone knew YOUR untouchable? And so we rush around, trying to hide them deeper and further in the closets of our souls...hoping beyond hope that our friends and family wont see the corners of them peeking out from the places we push them...they wont notice the smudges of darkness still left on our hearts. We fear the judgement that would come if someone knew about our Untouchable. What would they think of me? Would they still love and respect me? How can I move past it?
These untouchables, like any mess in our lives, seem small at the time, but have the potential to spirtually cause destruction in our lives...and for many an Untouchable, a quick brush into our hiding place doesnt heal the issue that is still there...Its time to take hold of your untouchable. Bring it to light and truly clean it from your life.
Its time to clean out your Spiritual Closet...what Untouchables are you hiding? And when you clean, clean them out for good...and just like many big, messy jobs, you may not be able to do it alone...so dont be afraid to ask for help.
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
A Father Becomes A Son...
This post is another one that has been brewing for several weeks now...Usually when they brew for a while, like a good coffee, the thoughts seem to be richer and fuller...hopefully, it's Starbucks worthy...
Over the holidays, my grandfather, my Papa, passed away. The one call you never really like to get on Christmas Eve is your mom, in tears, because your Dad just lost his own Dad...I think a lot of us made the motions of the holidays this year, with that thought looming over, but there was also joy in knowing Papa was partying with Jesus in Heaven this year...
At the funeral the following week, I tried to detach, to disconnect, because that is my escape clause. That is how I get everyone else through it. They can't lean on me if I am weak and so I turn myself off. Not sure if that's a God-given gift or not, but I can recount several times when my inner strength has gotten my own family through some really dark waters. I am also built with an emotional release valve...when everyone has been taken care of, then I let go...
I did a pretty good job, until a thought jarred my release valve...Sitting there in the rows behind my family I saw the people in my life known as Grandma (Mimi), Dad, Uncles and Aunt transform before my eyes...Suddenly, my grandmother was a wife...a widow who's husband and the love of her life laid in the box before her...I saw my father, the oldest, become a son whose shoulders had spent a lifetime bearing weight they shouldnt always have had to bear alone...I saw my uncles, weird and mistake driven as they had been in their lives become brothers who, along with my dad, forgave a multitude of sins on this day and embrace one another again...I saw my aunt, the baby, transform into a little girl who had lost her daddy, and regardless of the strong husband beside her, a little of her own strength and courage was buried that day.
I saw a family that had learned lessons, fought abundantly and loved passionately. And I was reminded of the layers we all have. People are more than just the layer they let you see. They are so much more than that. Once we take the time to understand them beyond the outer shell, the safe zone, we truly begin to know and love them for who they really are. My love for my family went leagues deeper that day, because I began to see them in their various dimensions...
What would your life be like if you loved everyone you encountered in 3D?
And for my Papa, i hope you are proud of all the dimensions you can now see in me.
Over the holidays, my grandfather, my Papa, passed away. The one call you never really like to get on Christmas Eve is your mom, in tears, because your Dad just lost his own Dad...I think a lot of us made the motions of the holidays this year, with that thought looming over, but there was also joy in knowing Papa was partying with Jesus in Heaven this year...
At the funeral the following week, I tried to detach, to disconnect, because that is my escape clause. That is how I get everyone else through it. They can't lean on me if I am weak and so I turn myself off. Not sure if that's a God-given gift or not, but I can recount several times when my inner strength has gotten my own family through some really dark waters. I am also built with an emotional release valve...when everyone has been taken care of, then I let go...
I did a pretty good job, until a thought jarred my release valve...Sitting there in the rows behind my family I saw the people in my life known as Grandma (Mimi), Dad, Uncles and Aunt transform before my eyes...Suddenly, my grandmother was a wife...a widow who's husband and the love of her life laid in the box before her...I saw my father, the oldest, become a son whose shoulders had spent a lifetime bearing weight they shouldnt always have had to bear alone...I saw my uncles, weird and mistake driven as they had been in their lives become brothers who, along with my dad, forgave a multitude of sins on this day and embrace one another again...I saw my aunt, the baby, transform into a little girl who had lost her daddy, and regardless of the strong husband beside her, a little of her own strength and courage was buried that day.
I saw a family that had learned lessons, fought abundantly and loved passionately. And I was reminded of the layers we all have. People are more than just the layer they let you see. They are so much more than that. Once we take the time to understand them beyond the outer shell, the safe zone, we truly begin to know and love them for who they really are. My love for my family went leagues deeper that day, because I began to see them in their various dimensions...
What would your life be like if you loved everyone you encountered in 3D?
And for my Papa, i hope you are proud of all the dimensions you can now see in me.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Train Tables and Perspective...
Even though my son is 3, I still consider myself a relatively new parent. There's still a lot of "we've never done THIS before!" experiences that my husband and I face on a regular basis. ("No, you cannot ride the kitty..." "The puke is where?!"..."The poop HAS to go in the potty son, you can't hide to poop..." and other great tales of parenting) This Christmas, we enjoyed another "first" together as a couple...the first enormous toy from Santa *read as, his Grandparents* that Hubs and I had to spend an unreal amount of time putting together.
As we looked at the size of the box, the innumerable amount of pieces, tracks, wooden pegs, trains, and felt slightly overwhelmed (and incredibly not thrilled) about the task ahead of us...Already we could tell this was at least a 2 hour project...
But as my husband and I opened the instructions and dug in, side by side, a few things happened. We began to laugh and talk about what Gavin was going to do, or say, when he saw this Monstrosity of Choo-Choo-ness...(yes, thats what we named it!) We began sharing our own favorite Christmas memories with each other, reliving past glories when we realized "Santa" and "Dad" had the same handwriting. We laughed about stories from our parents, like the time when my dad had just finished putting the last little decal on the best "kitchen" playset for his little girls, finally crawled up the stairs at 4 am, only to be jumped on by those same little girls at 5 am, because Santa had been there!!! (Santa needed a LOT of coffee that morning...)
Looking at this experience from the eyes from a parent, I thought back to God. I thought, I wonder what it must have been like for Him, as he prepared His gift for us. How extensive those directions must have been! Every strand of Jesus hair, the warmth in his eyes, the hands that would heal and do miracles. Im sure the process was hard, thinking about the wrapping His gift would have to go through before we could receive it. The cross it would have to endure, before the Gift could be fully ready for us. But God our Father, like any good parent, rolled up His sleeves and got to work on the greatest gift of all. And the smile on His face when He saw the joy His Gift brought to the world, much like the happiness explosion we received from one little boy at the sight of his train table, the best gift he had ever seen!
I thought about how much joy and happiness my husband and I experienced in that one moment, when Gavin realized this gift was HIS! and he got to keep it "foreber"! I wondered if that was the same smile bursting happiness God feels when another one of His children opens His Gift, the one that He so lovingly prepared, no matter how hard it was. And in that moment, is it all "worth it" to Him, seeing the love, peace and joy that his Child will now experience through His Gift.
Im not saying Im looking forward to the many more toys to put together, but feeling the victory in that moment, the smile on my child's face, the warm happiness in his heart, and I would do it all over again.
And our Father, would do it for us too. Again and again until all of his Children have their "Christmas Morning" accepting His precious Gift.
As we looked at the size of the box, the innumerable amount of pieces, tracks, wooden pegs, trains, and felt slightly overwhelmed (and incredibly not thrilled) about the task ahead of us...Already we could tell this was at least a 2 hour project...
But as my husband and I opened the instructions and dug in, side by side, a few things happened. We began to laugh and talk about what Gavin was going to do, or say, when he saw this Monstrosity of Choo-Choo-ness...(yes, thats what we named it!) We began sharing our own favorite Christmas memories with each other, reliving past glories when we realized "Santa" and "Dad" had the same handwriting. We laughed about stories from our parents, like the time when my dad had just finished putting the last little decal on the best "kitchen" playset for his little girls, finally crawled up the stairs at 4 am, only to be jumped on by those same little girls at 5 am, because Santa had been there!!! (Santa needed a LOT of coffee that morning...)
Looking at this experience from the eyes from a parent, I thought back to God. I thought, I wonder what it must have been like for Him, as he prepared His gift for us. How extensive those directions must have been! Every strand of Jesus hair, the warmth in his eyes, the hands that would heal and do miracles. Im sure the process was hard, thinking about the wrapping His gift would have to go through before we could receive it. The cross it would have to endure, before the Gift could be fully ready for us. But God our Father, like any good parent, rolled up His sleeves and got to work on the greatest gift of all. And the smile on His face when He saw the joy His Gift brought to the world, much like the happiness explosion we received from one little boy at the sight of his train table, the best gift he had ever seen!
I thought about how much joy and happiness my husband and I experienced in that one moment, when Gavin realized this gift was HIS! and he got to keep it "foreber"! I wondered if that was the same smile bursting happiness God feels when another one of His children opens His Gift, the one that He so lovingly prepared, no matter how hard it was. And in that moment, is it all "worth it" to Him, seeing the love, peace and joy that his Child will now experience through His Gift.
Im not saying Im looking forward to the many more toys to put together, but feeling the victory in that moment, the smile on my child's face, the warm happiness in his heart, and I would do it all over again.
And our Father, would do it for us too. Again and again until all of his Children have their "Christmas Morning" accepting His precious Gift.
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