Before you read this, know that I have been praying for you...
The words you are about to read are ones that were placed on my heart for somebody, somewhere and I have no idea who you are. This "moment of selah" was one that I experienced earlier this week. It was something so intimate and personal, I debated even writing about it. Yet, this morning, the Spirit moved and this post was already written in my head before I even sat here to write a word. Whoever you are, I hope you feel His love through these words...
I am an avid "blurker" of thebump.com. It is one of those "mom" type sites where you get to write about all those wonderful and yet awkward things those husbands really don't know about or want to know about...like mucus plugs and breastfeeding... :) This week, I was reading the story of a woman named Stacy who, initially was just celebrating the birth of her daughter. I stumbled upon her blog and realized that her journey began much earlier than the day her little girl was born...
Linky: sgirl79.blogspot.com
This whole site is devoted to her journey since she discovered there was something terribly wrong with her first pregnancy, baby boy Isaac. He had some trisomomies and abnormalities that would have made him either pass away while in utero, or shortly after birth. Her doctors urged her to terminate the pregnancy, but she could not do it...she could not limit God.
At the end of each post she would lift up a request to each of her readers, asking that God would miraculously intervene in the pregnancy and cure Isaac of his medical issues. Her doctors were baffled as to why she continued the pregnancy. One specialist even stated that out of all pregnancies he had seen with this medical issue, only 3 others decided to continue. She, together with her husband decided not to put their God in a box and continue with this precarious situation. The doctors warned them that, at best, they would have hours, maybe minutes with their child.
As I continued reading, I observed little miracles throughout her story. A lump on the back of Isaac's neck began to diminish, different little blessings along the way. As I read, I began to have hope for Stacy and for Isaac for a happy ending, even though I knew otherwise...
I then reached the part of the story where Isaac passes away...I had to stop reading. Even though I did not know this woman personally, I was so filled with anger at God for her situation. This woman had faith that God would do a miraculous work in her son. Instead, he was taken away from her. I couldn't imagine having a pregnancy like that. Having the strength and faith to trust in God, knowing that you may never even get to have a life with this baby at all. Pregnancy by itself is such a trying and emotional time, but to carry a child you may never even get to see grow up and knowing that truth rocked my world. Then, God brought me back to the true message of her blog...
Sixteen minutes. That's all she had with her little boy...just sixteen minutes. Instead of filling those minutes with sadness and tears, she and her husband embraced every minute they had, filling it with kisses, cuddles and pictures of their new little family, no matter how long they had it. They took hold of every second to celebrate God's gift, even though they knew he would not be with them for long.
The reason I share this with anyone who reads is to let you know we don't hold the next hour. We don't hold the next half hour...we don't even hold the next sixteen minutes. Our lives are an orchestration of the Father's hand, and even though little Isaac was here for such a short time, the inumeral amount of lives he has touched through his mother's faith and trust in God's leading is incredible. Instead of allowing ourselves to be wrapped up in the sadness and darkness of moments, we have to push through and see how God is going to use this moment for His glory, allowing Him to love us through it; not use it as an opportunity to push His love away.
I don't know if my words will make sense. Maybe it's better for you to read Stacy's journey in her own words. I just know that it is a powerful woman of God who continues to be faithful in such a mighty way. It's the kind of woman of faith I want to be. It's also an encouragement to me to continue living every moment I have with those I love, regardless of what the next moment holds.
Please know that you are loved today and that, good or bad, each day and each moment holds it's own purpose.
